Sunday, August 19, 2018

Review of "No-Drama Discipline" by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

Brief Summary: No-Drama Discipline is a quick read on how to change your discipline perspective and have a happier, healthier family life.

Long Summary: In my continuing parenting research I found No-Drama Discipline and learned about how to connect and redirect. The main strategy presented to discipline a child is to first connect and then redirect. There were three points to think about the behavior causing you to consider discipline: why?, what lesson to teach them?, and How can you teach that lesson?. My favorite quote from the book was "when we know better, we do better." The book covers the science behind the brain and the upstairs, reasoning brain versus the downstairs, lizard brain. We want to focus on the 3 brain C's: the brain is changing, the brain is changeable, and the brain is complex. Our children are constantly learning and developing and our discipline approach should change and develop as well. The point why should be looked at by an acronym: HALT, Hungry, angry, lonely, tired. If your kid is one of these things could it be causing the outburst?

The book also presented ways to maintain response flexibility. Turn down the shark music (da da dum), chase the why, and think about the how. Connection strategies were to get down below the child's eye level, validate their feelings, stop talking and listen, and reflect back to them what you are hearing.

Discipline is teaching but you need to wait until the child and possibly you are ready to redirect. Be consistent but not rigid on boundaries. Exceptions are allowed but not the norm. Children and parents need to have insight, empathy, integration and repair ruptures. Strategies to help REDIRECT are: Reduce your words, Embrace the emotions, Describe what you hear, Involve the child, Re-frame a No into a conditional yes, Emphasize the positive, Creatively approach the situation, Teach Mindsight tools.

Overall I loved this book and plan on implementing these parenting strategies in my toolbox.

Rating: 4.5/5

Other works: The Whole Brained Child, The Yes Brain

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